072

Feb. 6th, 2009 10:51 am
major_west: (talky talk)
[personal profile] major_west
I've considered writing something more eloquent; however, I don't really see the point right now, so I'll simply lay it out: I don't understand how things work here. I don't understand how we are expected to undergo these floods, these ports, and now-- most recently-- this "invasion," and gain anything positive from what is, essentially, torture manipulation. It seems very... Old Testament, an "eye for an eye" sort of affair. At least, this has been my own personal experience here. I've done terrible things to people, and in return, I have to have terrible things done to me in excess in order to... repent? Absolve myself? Become "good enough" to deserve some vague sort of reward? Am I expected to repress everything and smile, move on to the next violation of my very self? I can do it-- I'm no stranger to repression, after all-- but I'm not going to gain anything from it.

I wasn't wrong.

I had an identity that was worth something back home, but I failed to uphold it. I'm nothing here. Just an Inmate. I have nowhere to go-- nowhere I'd want to go, at least-- and I don't want to become a Warden. I utterly detest the Wardens. What reason do I have to graduate?

Well. It's something to think about.

My apologies to anybody whose sleep I've disturbed in the past week. I hope that it won't happen again.

[OOC: EMOOOO ARAGHHH. But yeah, West's nightmares have had him screaming several nights in a row, but thanks to Billy, it's probably going to stop now!]

[Private]

Date: 2009-02-08 06:47 pm (UTC)
gimmethemap: (Default)
From: [personal profile] gimmethemap
Out of curiosity, what didn't you like about it?

[Private]

Date: 2009-02-08 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
Behaving like a mother hen is just very different from commanding a group of men. That's all.

[Private]

Date: 2009-02-08 09:23 pm (UTC)
gimmethemap: (Default)
From: [personal profile] gimmethemap
I didn't see you as a mother hen.

[Private]

Date: 2009-02-08 09:26 pm (UTC)
gimmethemap: (Default)
From: [personal profile] gimmethemap
I see you more like a big brother.

[Private]

Date: 2009-02-08 09:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
I've never been anybody's elder brother before.

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major_west: (Default)
major_west

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