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I've considered writing something more eloquent; however, I don't really see the point right now, so I'll simply lay it out: I don't understand how things work here. I don't understand how we are expected to undergo these floods, these ports, and now-- most recently-- this "invasion," and gain anything positive from what is, essentially, torture manipulation. It seems very... Old Testament, an "eye for an eye" sort of affair. At least, this has been my own personal experience here. I've done terrible things to people, and in return, I have to have terrible things done to me in excess in order to... repent? Absolve myself? Become "good enough" to deserve some vague sort of reward? Am I expected to repress everything and smile, move on to the next violation of my very self? I can do it-- I'm no stranger to repression, after all-- but I'm not going to gain anything from it.
I wasn't wrong.
I had an identity that was worth something back home, but I failed to uphold it. I'm nothing here. Just an Inmate. I have nowhere to go-- nowhere I'd want to go, at least-- and I don't want to become a Warden.I utterly detest the Wardens. What reason do I have to graduate?
Well. It's something to think about.
My apologies to anybody whose sleep I've disturbed in the past week. I hope that it won't happen again.
[OOC: EMOOOO ARAGHHH. But yeah, West's nightmares have had him screaming several nights in a row, but thanks to Billy, it's probably going to stop now!]
I had an identity that was worth something back home, but I failed to uphold it. I'm nothing here. Just an Inmate. I have nowhere to go-- nowhere I'd want to go, at least-- and I don't want to become a Warden.
Well. It's something to think about.
My apologies to anybody whose sleep I've disturbed in the past week. I hope that it won't happen again.
[OOC: EMOOOO ARAGHHH. But yeah, West's nightmares have had him screaming several nights in a row, but thanks to Billy, it's probably going to stop now!]
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Date: 2009-02-06 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2009-02-06 09:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-06 09:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-06 10:51 pm (UTC)We could adapt to just one place instead of having to live like this.
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Date: 2009-02-06 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-06 10:52 pm (UTC)Private
Date: 2009-02-06 10:59 pm (UTC)Private
Date: 2009-02-06 11:23 pm (UTC)Do you think we could do that? Do you think we could get away from them for long enough?
Private
Date: 2009-02-06 11:29 pm (UTC)But who says we have to go in?
Private
Date: 2009-02-06 11:43 pm (UTC)Will you stay there?
Private
Date: 2009-02-07 12:05 am (UTC)I don't know. I don't have any place anywhere, honestly.
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Date: 2009-02-07 12:22 am (UTC)I want to go home one day, but the only way that they'll let me will be once I'm not even myself anymore, so then it won't matter where I am. It's better to just get out now...
Private
Date: 2009-02-07 02:52 am (UTC)