major_west: (crazy in the rain)
[personal profile] major_west
I've been here for nearly two years now, and while others may have seen results, I have not. It's become clear to me that no matter what course I'd have taken, the end result would have been the same: they live. My men and I die. Perhaps, if I had been a better man-- by whatever metric you wardens measure it by-- I'd have had no second chance at all. My death would have brought peace, a darkness, whatever it is those who do not end up on the Barge receive... and nothing more.

In light of that, I must admit that I've even less reason to repent. I'm quite attached to consciousness, to simply being and feeling alive, even if it's in death here.

Survival is all that matters.

Private

Date: 2010-02-01 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
That's not what I'm talking about at all!

Private

Date: 2010-02-01 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com
The circumstances of your death were different both times, sparrow.

Private

Date: 2010-02-01 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
It's the fact that they were still KILLED that upsets me.

Private

Date: 2010-02-01 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com
So you're saying that the fact that you died is not the trouble -- despite your taking the time to note that this place is preferable. It's solely them.

Private

Date: 2010-02-01 10:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
No, I'm saying that I failed them either way, and that had I not gone and done what I did, I'd likely have died and ended up nowhere.

Private

Date: 2010-02-01 10:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com
I can't confirm or deny whether that would be true. Ended up nowhere, or on a ship like the one we both saw -- a ship that takes souls impressive enough to be worth making a conscious effort towards dirtying them.

Private

Date: 2010-02-01 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] major-west.livejournal.com
Oh, what an afterlife that would be. If only I'd gone and done the right thing.

Private

Date: 2010-02-01 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] impure-tale.livejournal.com
All possibilities, cherub. And neither of us have any idea how that would have ended, ultimately.

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