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major_westI've considered writing something more eloquent; however, I don't really see the point right now, so I'll simply lay it out: I don't understand how things work here. I don't understand how we are expected to undergo these floods, these ports, and now-- most recently-- this "invasion," and gain anything positive from what is, essentially, torture manipulation. It seems very... Old Testament, an "eye for an eye" sort of affair. At least, this has been my own personal experience here. I've done terrible things to people, and in return, I have to have terrible things done to me in excess in order to... repent? Absolve myself? Become "good enough" to deserve some vague sort of reward? Am I expected to repress everything and smile, move on to the next violation of my very self? I can do it-- I'm no stranger to repression, after all-- but I'm not going to gain anything from it.
I wasn't wrong.
I had an identity that was worth something back home, but I failed to uphold it. I'm nothing here. Just an Inmate. I have nowhere to go-- nowhere I'd want to go, at least-- and I don't want to become a Warden.I utterly detest the Wardens. What reason do I have to graduate?
Well. It's something to think about.
My apologies to anybody whose sleep I've disturbed in the past week. I hope that it won't happen again.
[OOC: EMOOOO ARAGHHH. But yeah, West's nightmares have had him screaming several nights in a row, but thanks to Billy, it's probably going to stop now!]
I had an identity that was worth something back home, but I failed to uphold it. I'm nothing here. Just an Inmate. I have nowhere to go-- nowhere I'd want to go, at least-- and I don't want to become a Warden.
Well. It's something to think about.
My apologies to anybody whose sleep I've disturbed in the past week. I hope that it won't happen again.
[OOC: EMOOOO ARAGHHH. But yeah, West's nightmares have had him screaming several nights in a row, but thanks to Billy, it's probably going to stop now!]
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[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 09:48 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 10:25 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 10:31 pm (UTC)girlyvulnerable.[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 11:04 pm (UTC)I mean, seriously, who the Hell cares what other people think? You're not weak.
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Date: 2009-02-07 11:10 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 11:13 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 11:37 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 12:18 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 12:27 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 12:44 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 05:46 am (UTC)I don't want to know who's really my friend and who isn't.And did it make you want to treat me differently, or see me differently, or... anything?
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 06:24 am (UTC)But afterwards, after I thought about it -- yeah, I guess I saw you a little different. But not really in a bad way. But I've gotta tell you that the flood before had more to do with me looking at you different than your choice of bedmates.
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 06:26 am (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 06:40 am (UTC)The flood came, and a lot of those walls came down. It kind of got me to start looking at you outside of what brought you here, which is part of what this place is supposed to be about. You change the scenery, you change the situation.
...But no, I don't look at you as a child. But I didn't dislike you as one, either.
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 06:17 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 06:21 pm (UTC)You were biting like some peopleBut that was a silly question to ask anyway; after the last crazy flood thing, do you still look at me as a child?
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Date: 2009-02-08 06:44 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 06:47 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 06:57 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 09:23 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 09:25 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 09:26 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-08 09:27 pm (UTC)