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major_westI've considered writing something more eloquent; however, I don't really see the point right now, so I'll simply lay it out: I don't understand how things work here. I don't understand how we are expected to undergo these floods, these ports, and now-- most recently-- this "invasion," and gain anything positive from what is, essentially, torture manipulation. It seems very... Old Testament, an "eye for an eye" sort of affair. At least, this has been my own personal experience here. I've done terrible things to people, and in return, I have to have terrible things done to me in excess in order to... repent? Absolve myself? Become "good enough" to deserve some vague sort of reward? Am I expected to repress everything and smile, move on to the next violation of my very self? I can do it-- I'm no stranger to repression, after all-- but I'm not going to gain anything from it.
I wasn't wrong.
I had an identity that was worth something back home, but I failed to uphold it. I'm nothing here. Just an Inmate. I have nowhere to go-- nowhere I'd want to go, at least-- and I don't want to become a Warden.I utterly detest the Wardens. What reason do I have to graduate?
Well. It's something to think about.
My apologies to anybody whose sleep I've disturbed in the past week. I hope that it won't happen again.
[OOC: EMOOOO ARAGHHH. But yeah, West's nightmares have had him screaming several nights in a row, but thanks to Billy, it's probably going to stop now!]
I had an identity that was worth something back home, but I failed to uphold it. I'm nothing here. Just an Inmate. I have nowhere to go-- nowhere I'd want to go, at least-- and I don't want to become a Warden.
Well. It's something to think about.
My apologies to anybody whose sleep I've disturbed in the past week. I hope that it won't happen again.
[OOC: EMOOOO ARAGHHH. But yeah, West's nightmares have had him screaming several nights in a row, but thanks to Billy, it's probably going to stop now!]
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:01 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:03 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:09 pm (UTC)It's said more often the longer I'm around, but shit happens, Henry.
You can't control what happens in port, just guard yourself.
You couldn't stop someone from hurting you when you were vulnerable.
That was my job anywayYou couldn't prevent what happened to your men or what happened to you.
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:11 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:16 pm (UTC)Sometimes everybody dies.
That doesn't mean a sense of integrity isn't important.
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:43 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:46 pm (UTC)But if this were a normal world, where you had come close to losing someone that special to you forever, what would you do, knowing that right now, you still have them?
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:48 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:49 pm (UTC)I don't think you realize how many second chances this place gives you sometimes. If you'd met him in your own world one of you might already be gone forever.
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 05:59 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:04 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:06 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:08 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:09 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:10 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:12 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:13 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:18 pm (UTC)But what makes me happy isn't...
rightsafeI pursue my own happiness just... fine.[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:18 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 06:31 pm (UTC)[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 07:49 pm (UTC)I feel like you've never been completely open to talking about them. Not to me, anyway.
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 08:29 pm (UTC)About... what?
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 09:13 pm (UTC)Your problems. The things that keep you up. Y'know your profile only gives me so much, and they didn't pick me merely to anticipate you.
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 09:19 pm (UTC)There isn't much to talk about. That's why. I mean-- I've said enough about them.
[Private]
Date: 2009-02-07 09:26 pm (UTC)[Private]
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