major_west: (talky talk)
major_west ([personal profile] major_west) wrote2009-02-06 10:51 am

072

I've considered writing something more eloquent; however, I don't really see the point right now, so I'll simply lay it out: I don't understand how things work here. I don't understand how we are expected to undergo these floods, these ports, and now-- most recently-- this "invasion," and gain anything positive from what is, essentially, torture manipulation. It seems very... Old Testament, an "eye for an eye" sort of affair. At least, this has been my own personal experience here. I've done terrible things to people, and in return, I have to have terrible things done to me in excess in order to... repent? Absolve myself? Become "good enough" to deserve some vague sort of reward? Am I expected to repress everything and smile, move on to the next violation of my very self? I can do it-- I'm no stranger to repression, after all-- but I'm not going to gain anything from it.

I wasn't wrong.

I had an identity that was worth something back home, but I failed to uphold it. I'm nothing here. Just an Inmate. I have nowhere to go-- nowhere I'd want to go, at least-- and I don't want to become a Warden. I utterly detest the Wardens. What reason do I have to graduate?

Well. It's something to think about.

My apologies to anybody whose sleep I've disturbed in the past week. I hope that it won't happen again.

[OOC: EMOOOO ARAGHHH. But yeah, West's nightmares have had him screaming several nights in a row, but thanks to Billy, it's probably going to stop now!]
ext_956366: Malcolm Jamieson as Armand in the Scarlet Pimpernel wearing waistcoat and cravat nodding his head and closed eyes (bow) (chin down)

[identity profile] young-idealist.livejournal.com 2009-02-06 05:31 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't know you personally, monsieur, but I assure you everyone can redeem their misdeeds and gain a better life for themselves. Even you, no matter what you've done.

Let's pretend Charlie heard the screaming

[identity profile] i-hate-posses.livejournal.com 2009-02-06 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
That was you?

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2009-02-06 06:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I agree. Everything this place does is designed to ruin us.

Private (after reading all the public comments to this entry...)

[identity profile] thatlibbychick.livejournal.com 2009-02-07 01:57 am (UTC)(link)
Not all wardens delight in messing around with their inmates, West. And not all of us put blind faith in this place.

Some wardens are almost like...pseudo-inmates, who didn't do anything horrible enough to be actual inmates; we're they're here to redeem ourselves themselves voluntarily. We They know what it's like to feel guilt over what we're they've done. I'm not sure how many others there are, but trust me...we're they're around.